this-too-too-sullied-flesh:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

tmirai:

masterblaster:

theeasyvirtue:

masterblaster:

We ordered lube and rubbers online and because we spent more than $20 they sent us a free (too-big-to-use) dildo. So…

to big to use….?

You know, I’m glad you asked, because it allows me to print a correction.
I originally said it was too big to use, but yesterday I learned an important lesson about determination and believing in yourself.

This is the best post I’ve read in forever.

jesU S ch R I s T 

i’m never going to stop laughing

this-too-too-sullied-flesh:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

tmirai:

masterblaster:

theeasyvirtue:

masterblaster:

We ordered lube and rubbers online and because we spent more than $20 they sent us a free (too-big-to-use) dildo. So…

to big to use….?

You know, I’m glad you asked, because it allows me to print a correction.

I originally said it was too big to use, but yesterday I learned an important lesson about determination and believing in yourself.

This is the best post I’ve read in forever.

jesU S ch R I s T 

i’m never going to stop laughing

actionables:

SERIOUSLY BE NICE TO YOUR ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DESERVE AND MORE THAN ANY HUMAN EVER WILL

circumcising:

I LOVE LEARNING BAD THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE I DON’T LIKE

kite117:

And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog

kite117:

And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog

tallulahblues:

I literally crave affection. It’s not about sex. I crave somebody to cuddle with me, and to lay their head on my lap. I crave kisses, holding hands and running my thumb across theirs. Just looking at someone and thinking “how did I get this lucky”.

cakeandrevolution:

I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

officialbeyonceknowles:

u deserve a nice boy who texts u back and buys u tacos and doesn’t kiss other girls behind ur back and who makes u laugh and thinks ur funny

paragonpoint:

world-of-420skeleton:

rip dick butt

gone but never forgotten

paragonpoint:

world-of-420skeleton:

rip dick butt

gone but never forgotten

gerard-you-little-shit:

superherotimelorddetective:

choc-o-late:

est-offensa-et-mirari:

deppsydoodle:

deppsydoodle:

why is peter pan always flying?

he neverlands

I love this joke because it never grows old

It has a nice hook.

This doesn’t make sense. I’m lost, boys

MAYBE THIS IS WHY TINKERBELL IS ALWAYS FUCKIN PISSED OFF